The Twin Peaks Ugly Sweater Contest

Twin Peaks fans got the best present ever this year, which was the news that Twin Peaks is returning in 2016! So in honor of the holidays, I thought it would be fun to count down the top 10 ugliest sweaters ever worn in Twin Peaks.

10.

Leo Johnson wore this in episode 3 of Season 1. Looks a bit like the owl cave symbol, but still ugly!

9.

Maddy wore this in episode 5 of Season 1, but I don't think she should be so happy about it!

8.

Donna wore this sweater in the pilot episode right before she learned Laura was dead. However I think she went wrong beforehand with this choice!

7.

Doc Hayward wore this in episode 21 of Season 2 when he broke the news to Andy and Dick that little Nicky wasn't a psycho killer!

6.

Dr. Jacoby wore this in episode 4 of Season 1. Despite it's ugliness, it sort of works for him!

5.

Lucy wore this in episode 9 of Season 2. It's as confounding as her expression in this photo!

4.

Catherine wore this sweater/coat/hideous splat of colors in episode 20 of Season 2, but it didn't deter Ben from wanting to kiss her!

3.

Lucy made this unfortunate choice in episode 8 of Season 2, but it didn't keep her from being proud of Andy for telling off Agent Rosenfeld!

2.

Donna makes the list for a 2nd time with this fair isle mistake from episode 1 of Season 1. It speaks for itself! 

1.

John Justice Wheeler comes in at number 1 when he rocked this multi-striped number in episode 25 of Season 2. Oddly despite it's wretchedness, Audrey still gave up her virginity to him! 

Happy Holidays everyone & have a wonderful New Year!

See you in the trees!

Recap of Episode 1

Who really pulled the trigger on JFK?

Season 1 Episode 1

Written by: Mark Frost & David Lynch

Directed by: Duwayne Dunham

Original Air Date: April 12, 1990

"Freshly Squeezed"

At the Great Northern, Dale talks to Diane while hanging upside down using his special boots in his hotel room. He asks Diane what really went on between Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedy's and who really pulled the trigger on JFK?

Dale remarks on the wonderful coffee in the dining room at the Great Northern. He tells the waitress he'll have grapefruit as long as their freshly squeezed while he watches Audrey stroll in. Audrey sits down and tells Dale that Laura tutored her brother Johnny. Then she notes that sometimes she gets so flushed and oddly asks if Dale's palms ever itch.

"Harry I really have to urinate!"

Dale makes his way to the police station and finds everyone eating donuts. He runs down his plan of action for the morning and quickly excuses himself to use the bathroom. Later Doc Hayward goes over the autopsy report with Harry and Dale. He tells them that Laura was bound and had sexual relations with at least three men. Doc Hayward is certain that Ronette Pulaski was attacked by the same men.

At the Johnson's house, Leo insists that Shelly do his laundry before she goes to work. Shelly takes his dirty shirts and finds one of them soaked in blood. She quickly hides the shirt and turns on the washing machine before Leo sees it. After Leo asks Shelly to save him a piece of pie before she goes to work. Later Leo goes looking for the shirt and slams the washing machine when he can't find it.

"Sparkwood & 21" 

Back at the station, Dale and Harry talk to James and play the picnic video with his hog reflecting in Laura's eye. James gives in and tells them that Laura wanted to keep their relationship a secret. He also tells them that she was using cocaine and he saw her the night she died. James reveals she fell off his bike at Sparkwood and 21, told him she couldn't see him anymore and then took off into the woods. Dale shows him the heart necklace and James flashes to the day Laura gave him the necklace and told him her heart belonged to him. However, James insists to Dale that he doesn't know what happened to the necklace.

Downstairs in one of the jail cells, Bobby and Mike talk about their business problems with Leo Johnson. Bobby explains that Leo's money is in Laura's safety deposit box. Mike panics that Leo will come after them, but Bobby tells him to shut up, because he doesn't know Leo. Right then James is returned to his cell and Bobby stares him down. Then we cut to a touching scene of the picnic video with Donna and Laura. We get a close up of Laura's face and her voice says, "Help me!

Donna talks to her mother at the Hayward's house and expresses her pain and joy in the aftermath of Laura's death. Donna confides in her mother about Laura seeing James secretly, but admits that she's guilty over realizing her and James were falling in love all along. 

"They got a cherry pie that will kill ya!"

Harry and Dale talk to Big Ed at the station about James. Then Dale gets a call from Albert. In private Harry and Ed talk about the brawl at the Roadhouse. Ed says he thinks his beer was drugged and notes that Jacques Renault was tending bar. Meanwhile Dale tells Albert on the phone that he must stop at the Lamp Lighter Inn, because they have a cherry pie that will kill ya!

Norma runs into Nadine at the drugstore and gets an earful about cotton balls and silent drape runners. Poor Norma is lost for words as Nadine scurries out of the store.

Meanwhile James is released. James, Big Ed and Hawk exchange knowing looks while swiping their fingers down the side of their faces at the station. Nearby Dale releases Bobby and Mike, but warns them to pray for the health and safety of James Hurley. Harry looks on confused and says that he feels a little like Doctor Watson.

"There was a fish in the percolator!"

Josie and Pete talk at their house about his defending her to Catherine the day before at the mill. Then Harry and Dale stop by to speak with Josie about Laura. Pete offers to make them coffee. Josie tells them that she saw Laura on Thursday and Laura said she understood how Josie must have felt about her husband's death. Harry stares at Josie in awe and Dale quickly deduces that Harry's in love with Josie. Then Pete comes running out and tells them not to drink the coffee, because there was a fish in the percolator! Meanwhile, Catherine calls Josie and tells her that her "shenanigans" shutting down the mill cost them $87 K.

Catherine lays on a motel bed and questions Ben about how quickly their time together passes. Then she asks what the next step is. Catherine is worried about Pete finding her phony mill ledger. Ben says it might be time to start a fire at The Packard Saw Mill. Talking about their nefarious plans turns Ben on and he's ready for another round with Catherine.

"My Baby!"

Donna goes to visit Mrs. Palmer at her house. Leland asks Donna to try not to upset Sarah. Donna sits down with Sarah, who immediately starts crying about how much she misses Laura. Then Mrs. Palmer sees Laura's face transposed over Donna's and abruptly grabs her into a hug. While hugging Donna, Sarah sees a flash of Bob crouching at the foot of Laura's bed and starts frantically screaming for Leland. 

At the hospital, Hawk talks to Ronette's parents outside of her hospital room. They tell him that Ronette was a sales girl at the Horne's Department store perfume counter. While there, Hawk notices the one armed man step off the elevator. Hawk follows him and sees the one armed man head into the morgue.

"Oh Daddy I'm So Afraid!"

Audrey dances longingly to dreamy music at the Great Northern. Ben's storms in and shuts it off. Ben asks Audrey if she was speaking to the Norwegians before they departed without signing the Ghost Wood Estates contracts. Audrey coyly says that she told them she was feeling sad because of Laura's brutal murder. Ben gets angry and warns her if she ever does something like that again he'll send her to a Bulgarian convent. Audrey responds, "oh daddy I'm so afraid!" Ben coldly remarks that Laura died yesterday, but says he lost Audrey years ago.

Major Briggs tries to communicate with Bobby over dinner about the events of the last few days. Bobby decides to put a cigarette to his lips, which prompts the Major to smack it out of his mouth. The cigarette flies into Mrs. Briggs meatloaf. Betty looks at it in horror, but then picks it up and she says, "We're here for you Bobby!" Bobby looks extremely bewildered.

At the Double R Diner, Dale and Harry order pie from Shelly. Dale sees the Log Lady and wonders if he should ask her about her log. Harry answers, "many have!" Then Norma walks over to them and Dale asks for a list of the meals on wheels people that Laura was delivering to. The Log Lady approaches Dale and says her log saw something the night Laura was killed. She tells Dale to ask the log, but he pauses. The log lady then says, "I thought so," and quickly heads off annoyed.

"What shirt?"

Shelly comes home with pie for Leo, but he's more concerned about his missing shirt. He slips a bar of soap into a sock and demands to know where his shirt is. Clearly frightened Shelly asks, "What shirt?" Leo smacks the pie from her hand and says he's going to teach her a lesson. Knowing what she's in for, Shelly cowers in the corner of their unfinished kitchen. Leo begins winding up the sock and prepares to strike.

Meanwhile James heads over to the Hayward's house for dinner. Donna parents make awkward conversation with James and Donna brings him fruit punch to drink. James and Donna are excited to see each other. Outside Bobby and Mike notice James' bike in front of Donna's house. Bobby says it's a shame they can only kill James once.

"What's up Doc?"

In his Hawaiian style office, Dr. Jacoby beings to listen to a taped message from Laura Palmer. On the tape Laura starts to tell him about a mystery man in her life as he opens up his little secret coconut. Hearing her words makes Dr. Jacoby start to cry. He puts his headphones over his ears and listens to her intently, but we don't get to hear the rest of what Laura has to say. Then Dr. Jacoby pulls out the other half of Laura's heart necklace, holds it up and begins to blubber at the sight of it.

End of show!

This is a terrific episode and really starts to set the stage for the rest of the season. We get a nice taste of all the characters and their various dilemma's. Leo demonstrates the art of how not to have a healthy marriage. James and Donna attempt to find some normalcy and Dale begins to lay down the foundation of his investigation with Harry. Catherine and Ben appear to be setting Josie up with Pete none the wiser. The Log Lady tells Dale that her log knows something and Laura leaves Dr. Jacoby with some chilling insight into her life. Do you think she reveals the identity of her killer on that tape or was she just talking about some amorous adventure she had in the woods?


Recap of the Pilot <------> Recap of Episode 2

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Decoding Margaret Lanterman

I do not "introduce" the log!

Let's take a moment to discuss one of Twin Peaks most irreverent character's. Played by the very talented Catherine E. Coulson, Margaret Lanterman aka The Log Lady often stole every scene she was in with her impeccable timing and somewhat uncomfortable presence. She seems to have insight about a lot of Twin Peaks secrets, yet is dependent on her log for companionship and the psychic knowledge it provides. Hawk once said, "The wood holds many spirits, doesn't it Margaret?" With that in mind, you'd have to wonder if the log was in fact enchanted in someway. Or was it simply a representation of those who Margaret lost?

Here's what we know about the Log Lady. She was married briefly, but her husband "met the devil" (possibly Bob) on their wedding night and died in a mysterious fire. She lives in an isolated cabin in the woods and her log saw something the night Laura Palmer was killed. I think it's safe to conclude that her husband's spirit as well as various others may be trapped in her log. Thus making her a medium of sorts. Does this make a case for Josie's wood trapping or just a coincidence? Does the wood in Twin Peaks have special power? We also know that Margaret likes to chew pitch gum and much to Norma's dismay, she often sticks it on the wall of the Double R diner. See below!

In the movie Fire Walk With Me, Margaret encounters Laura outside the Roadhouse. She puts her hand to the log and then to Laura's forehead and says, "When this kind of fire starts, it is very hard to put out. The tender boughs of innocence burn first and the wind rises and then all goodness is in jeopardy." In my personal favorite of the Log Lady's introductions, she claims everything begins with the one and says that one was Laura Palmer. Watch below!

According to Twin Peaks Wiki, The conceptual history for the Log Lady was an old idea of David Lynch's, where he had intended to do a television series called "I'll Test My Log with Every Branch of Knowledge" based around the Log Lady character. The idea came about while he worked with Catherine Coulson on the set of Eraserhead. 

Thinking about all of this makes me wonder if the Log Lady knew that Laura Palmer was going to be murdered or was she simply trying to warn Laura of the lurking danger? She also advises Major Briggs to "deliver the message" which prompts him to tell Dale Cooper about the information he received from deep within the woods of Twin Peaks. See below!

Later Margaret leads Dale to the Roadhouse where he has a vision of The Giant in the infamous "It's happening again" scene prior to Maddy's murder. It appears she may have been forewarned by her log thus her efforts to steer Dale in the right direction. 

In an ironic twist, at the end of the series Wyndom Earle impersonates the Log Lady in order to kidnap Annie from the Miss Twin Peaks pageant. Bobby notices both Log Ladies and makes the unfortunate choice of confronting Wyndom's version. The result is the GIF image below. Poor Bobby! 

In conclusion Margaret Lanterman aka The Log Lady is not only one of the best female characters in Twin Peaks, she's one of the best characters period! Her presence is undeniable and always enjoyable. Thankfully Catherine Coulson has recently confirmed that she will return in 2017 to reprise her role of The Log Lady in the new episodes. To what degree is still unknown, but I don't think Twin Peaks would be the same without her!

Update: Sadly Catherine Coulson pasted away in Sept 2015. May she rest in peace.

The Best of the Worst

Heavy Metal Youth!

Let's count down the best of the worst side characters whose storyline's either pained or amused us!

Please note: This is purely for fun and nothing against the actors, only a critique of the characters.

11. Evelyn Marsh & Malcolm

Plot: Evelyn and her sinister brother Malcolm plot to frame James Hurley for the murder of Evelyn's rich husband Jeffrey. However they fail. Malcolm is shot by Evelyn and Evelyn is left to stew in her guilt.

What Made it So Bad: Aside from the nauseating dialogue and the silly seduction of James, Evelyn and Malcolm's presence in Twin Peaks was not only useless to the overall story, it failed to offer much in the way of entertainment.

The Verdict: The show probably would have been better without this storyline.

10. Blackie's sister Nancy

Plot: Nancy conspires with Jean Renault to kidnap Audrey for ransom and overthrow her sister, Blackie, as queen of One Eyed Jacks. She ultimately fails and gets knocked out by Dale Cooper.

What Made it So Bad: Blackie wasn't terribly likable herself, but in comparison Nancy was about as shrill as nails on a chalk board.

The Verdict: She was just "meat on a hook" to Jean and equally as lifeless to the fans!

9. Thomas Eckhardt

Plot: Thomas' obsession with Josie drove him to plot the murder of his one-time friend and Josie's husband, Andrew Packard. Despite Josie's aid, Thomas ultimately failed and Andrew got his revenge.

What Made it So Bad: He was another victim of hammy dialogue. Although his assistant, the lovely Brenda Strong aka Seinfeld's Sue Ellen Mischke, was mildly interesting, this storyline ultimately fell flat. Not too mention it sent poor Josie to her death trapped in a wooden doorknob.

The Verdict: Aside from offering some back story on Josie and her troubled origin, Thomas probably should have stayed in Hong Kong!

8. Vivian Niles aka M.T. Wentz

Plot: Vivian comes to town to supposedly see her daughter Norma Jennings and introduce Norma to her new step father, Ernie Niles. However she ultimately reveals herself to be the famous food critic, M.T. Wentz. She poorly review's the food at Norma's Double R diner. This forces Norma to kick her mother to the curb once and for all.

What Made it So Bad: Vivian's extreme lack of personality was only surpassed by the cold and condescending way she addressed our beloved Norma Jennings.

The Verdict: Ernie Niles should have come to town alone.

7. Little Nicky

Plot: Little Nicky was a foster child that Dick Tremayne took under his wing to impress Lucy. However he becomes suspicious of Little Nicky's creepy demeanor and enlists Andy's help to determine whether or not Little Nicky killed his biological parents. However it turns out that Little Nicky was innocent and just a victim of tragic circumstance.

What Made it So Bad: Despite a few laughs along the way, Little Nicky's storyline proved to be a real waste of time. Thankfully it wrapped up quickly and Dick was able to focus on more important things like hosting the Twin Peaks charity fashion show in honor of The Little Pine Wiesel.

The Verdict: Little Nicky would have been better left in foster care with Molly Shannon!

6. John Justice Wheeler

Plot: John comes to town to help Ben Horne with a business deal and to teach Ben how to be a good person. However he can't help but fall in love with Ben's beautiful and much younger daughter, Audrey Horne. Oddly Audrey falls for him as well and allows John to take her virginity on his plane before he flies off into Twin Peaks history.

What Made it So Bad: In addition to wearing some of the most hideous sweaters ever woven, John's annoying double speak and cliche' attempt to be irreverent mostly served as filler folly. Not to mention wasting the lovely Audrey's time when she should have been hanging out with Dale Cooper.

The Verdict: Billy Zane is no doubt a handsome man, but this character left a lot to be desired.  

5. Lana Milford

Plot: Lana marries the elderly Dougie Milford, who is Mayor Milford's brother, but becomes windowed on her wedding night when Dougie suffers a heart attack. Mayor Milford at first accuses Lana of killing Dougie with sex/witch craft, only to later recant his words and fall in love with her himself. Lana also had an effect on men in general and often found herself the center of male attention.

What Made it So Bad: Despite Lana's cute face and perky figure, her twangy voice and clown hair often made it hard to understand what all the fuss was about.

The Verdict: Her storyline did offer a fair amount of amusing moments with Mayor Milford so perhaps a little less airtime would have worked better for the show overall.

4. Emory Battis

Plot: Emory is the manager at Horne's Department store who recruits girls from the perfume counter to "work" at One Eyed Jacks. He also likes to be tied up and blind folded. In addition to having his toe nails painted while listening to women run the vacuum. Audrey gets the better of him and exposes his dirty deeds, but not before Emory lends his aid to Jean Renault in Audrey's drug fueled kidnapping. Emory ultimately gets shot and killed by Jean Renault.

What Made it So Bad: Emory's slimy nervous manner was often uncomfortable to watch. Plus his mistreatment of Audrey was very unlikable.

The Verdict: Jean Renault did us all a favor when he shot Emory for hitting Audrey, but who could forget those toes?

3. Cousin Jonathan/Mr. Lee

Plot: He was introduced by Josie to some as her cousin Jonathan and to others as her assistant Mr. Lee, but he was definitely an employee of Thomas Eckhardt. Mr. Lee came to Twin Peaks to return Josie to Thomas upon completion of her assignment to defraud the Packard family. In addition to giving Hank Jennings a much deserved ass whooping. However Josie managed to escape him and ultimately killed him off camera.

What Made it So Bad: Between the his cold leering behavior toward Josie and his tendency toward violence, Mr. Lee/Cousin Jonathan wasn't very appealing. His only good point was that he tuned Harry into Josie's lies.

The Verdict: Josie was nothing but trouble for everyone!

2. Ernie Niles

Plot: Ernie comes to Twin Peaks as a reformed con man who is now the new husband of Norma's mother, Vivian. However he quickly gets involved with his old prison buddy, Hank Jennings, and finds himself in the middle of nefarious drugs deals with Jean Renault. Ernie manages to redeem himself, despite his chronic nervous condition super hyperhidrosis, by working with Dale, Agent Bryson and Sheriff Truman to stop Jean Renault.

What Made it So Bad: Honestly not much. Ernie was pretty funny and despite his questionable morals he was fairly lovable.

The Verdict: Sweaty or not, Ernie Niles was a fun side character, who's storyline worked well with the show's humor!

1. Agent Denise Bryson

Plot: Agent Bryson of the DEA comes to Twin Peaks to investigate allegations being made against Dale Cooper. As a former colleague of Dale's known as Dennis Bryson, it comes as quite a shock to Dale when Dennis arrives in women's clothing and introduces himself as Denise. Agent Bryson also takes a awkward shine to Sheriff Truman. He ultimately proves himself a hero during the Dead Dog Farm hostage situation when he dresses as a waitress from the Double R diner. Denise distracts Jean Renault just long enough to slip a gun to Dale Cooper via his stocking!

What Made it So Bad: I would say there wasn't anything bad about it. It was definitely over the top, but it's arguably one of the best comedic subplots in Season 2.

The Verdict: David Duchovny in drag = comedy gold!

That's all folks! Did I miss anyone?

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Will The Internet Kill Twin Peaks?

Let's have a think on it!

With the fantastic news of Twin Peaks returning in 2016 announced this past October, there has been a surge of Twin Peaks mania going on. However with all this unbridled social media enthusiasm are we unintentionally setting ourselves on a path of inevitable criticism and unrealistic expectations?

In a recent interview David Lynch said, "I’m not talking about Twin Peaks now. Not until 2016." and this got me thinking. Maybe with today's instant gratification everything via the internet Twin Peaks could be spoiled, in particular for first wave fans like me. However I am guilty of the very thing I am writing about so how's that for hypocrisy? 

I started this blog the day after the news was announced. It was actually an idea that I had been playing around with for awhile, but the news of the series returning sort of kicked my butt into gear. I imagine this was true for many fans who have also started blogs, Facebook fan pages, Twitter feeds, etc. in honor of their love of this terrific show. I think all the renewed interest for the show, especially because of the fans both old and new, is why it's returning. With that in mind, I'm sure you could imagine that thinking all this passion could somehow soil Twin Peaks kind of made me sad.

Holding back the tears!

Laura Palmer told Harold Smith in Fire Walk With Me that Bob had been having her since she was 12. Well ironically, Twin Peaks has been having me since I was 12. Not in the same way Laura was referring to of course, but in the context that I've had a feverish obsession with this show since I first watched it. Adolescence really is an ugly time of life, isn't it? At least for me it was and that made my connection to the series even stronger.

I stated in a previous post that it was very hard for me to follow this series consistently when it originally aired, which I think led to a little of the fun and the frustration. I was able to watch the pilot through Maddy's murder. After that I didn't see a thing about it again until Fire Walk With Me was released. I had the pleasure of seeing FWWM in the theater and with a very young and open mind. I loved it and was so moved by Laura's story that it became a mission to find out anything and everything about the series. I wanted to have a complete picture.

I began a hunt for the VHS tapes, The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer and any memorabilia I could get a hold of. I tracked down a copy of one of the Twin Peaks Gazette newsletters and looked for a way to order items, but wasn't able to get anywhere. At that time The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer was out of print and I couldn't find the complete series anywhere. So between 1992 when the movie came out and the spring of 1995, I thought Twin Peaks would forever feel incomplete. 

Finally I found the entire series, minus the pilot, at Sam Goody one day and quickly purchased it. I recall spending my entire Spring Break binge watching it. It was amazing. On that first full watch I don't think it fully occurred to me how bad certain sub plots in the second season actually were. I was so in awe of the show that John Justice Wheeler's twangy music and atrociously bad sweaters seemed just fine. I never liked Thomas Eckhart or Sue Ellen Mischke as his side kick. Nor was there a time when Evelyn's poor dialogue and cliche' storyline pleased me, but I always loved Twin Peaks in spite of it. In fact some of the bad stuff is actually in hindsight pretty endearing. I always laugh at Nadine and Mike's unconventional love affair. David Duchovny as Agent Denise Bryson is priceless and my personal favorite is the always hilarious Ernie Niles!

Super hyperhidrosis

To get back on topic, it was hard to be a Twin Peaks fan back in the day. It took some work and devotion to acquire anything. I was too young to be allowed to travel across country to the festival so I accepted that my "fanatical" fandom was my own private obsession. I did however have a dear friend give me the FWWM movie poster and several pictures from the series one Christmas as a surprise present. She took the time to frame everything for me and I still have all of it to this day in excellent condition. 

I remember another friend of mine from high school in the 90's once asked, "can you imagine what losers spend their whole day on the internet?" I just kept my mouth shut, because to me it seemed like fabulous untamed land that I wanted to explore. If people thought that made me a loser, I really didn't care. Instant access to unlimited information seemed very appealing to me. In the early days I was plagued like most of us by the trials of dial up and often hearing AOL say "goodbye" when I was in the middle of stuff. However as we all know, it got a lot better.

Sleep tight!

In the late 90's I was able to acquire the above t-shirt from Ebay and I still wear it to sleep often. Although the black has faded a bit, I consider it to my coolest and the longest lasting of my TP related gear. As I moved into the 00's, I received the first season of Twin Peaks on DVD and then the second season and after that the complete series. I've now turned one of my best friends into a true TP fan. Now I have the Missing Pieces set (which is amazing) and I'm good until David & Mark release the inevitable next complete set after the new episodes air.

So where am I going with all of this? Well over all of these years the internet has evolved right along with a whole new generation of Twin Peaks fans. Fans now have instant access to the episodes, YouTube videos and of course social media. As our privacy has been greatly reduced with our individual online presence, our ability to quickly discover just about anything we're interested in has greatly increased.

It's easier then ever to be a Twin Peaks fan now. There are tons of people all over the world who love this show and they're all over the web talking about it, sharing thoughts and discovering new ways to appreciate Twin Peaks. I've thoroughly enjoyed chatting with fans online who love this show as much as I do. Not feeling weird for completely "geeking" out on TP is such a relief. However I fear it's not all good. 

I think there is an argument to be made that episode spoilers will ruin a lot of the mystery. In addition to the added critiquing of the actors, writers and producers. Let's face it, the autonomous nature of the internet/social media gives all of us big balls and a feeling of entitlement when it comes to our opinions. Haven't you ever read the comments in reviews of other TV shows you liked and felt disappointed that so many people are just plain stupid? I won't even touch how angry online politics makes us. How will all of this effect the new episodes of Twin Peaks is still unknown, but I think it will be very interesting. Personally I think it's too far gone now so you either have take the ride or get left behind. 

How do you feel? Did I do a lot of mindless rambling here or is our favorite show about to embark on a bumpy ride? 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Recapping the Pilot & Alternate Ending

All wonderful things start off strong and Twin Peaks is no exception. There were two versions of the pilot. The U.S. version ends with Sarah Palmer having a vision of a gloved hand taking Laura's necklace from where Donna and James buried it in the woods. The UK version ends with an elaborate dream sequence that isn't seen in the US until the end of episode 2.

Written by: Mark Frost & David Lynch

Directed by: David Lynch

Original Air Date: April 8, 1990

The Pilot

"She's dead, wrapped in plastic!"

At the Packard's, Josie stares into her mirror longingly, while Pete tells Catherine downstairs that he's gone fishing. He walks outside and notices something laying in the beach. When he goes to investigate, Pete realizes he's looking at a dead woman. He runs back into the house and calls the sheriff. Pete tells Harry, "she's dead, wrapped in plastic!"

Harry brings Deputy Andy and Dr. Hayward to investigate, while Catherine and Josie look on from the porch. Andy takes pictures of the body and starts crying. Harry can't believe he's crying over another body and has him return to their van. After Dr. Hayward and Harry unwrap her and realize it's Laura Palmer.

"Laura, now means now!"

At the Palmer's house, Sarah demands Laura come down to breakfast. When Laura doesn't, she starts searching the house and says, "Laura now means now!" However after checking Laura's room, Sarah realizes she's not in the house. She decides to call the Brigg's house, hoping they heard from Laura, but to no avail. Mrs. Briggs thinks Laura's probably with Bobby. After Sarah calls the school hoping the football coach has seen Bobby, but the coach tells her no one has seen him.

"My Daughter's Dead"

Audrey goes to school, while Ben Horne and Leland Palmer plan to win over the Icelander's at The Great Northern. Ben chats up the group, but Leland gets a call from Sarah and has to step out. Leland takes her call in the lobby and tries to sooth Sarah's fears about Laura. However, then Sheriff Truman walks in and Leland suddenly knows something is off. His silence makes Sarah panic on the other end. Both parents instantly know their daughter is dead. Ben comes out to check on Leland and Leland tells him, "My daughter's dead!" Meanwhile Sarah screams manically on the other end of the phone.

"Too busy jump starting the old man?"

At the Double R Diner, Shelly teases Heidi when she's late for work and says she was too busy jump starting her old man. Norma pours Bobby more coffee, but he offers Shelly a ride home instead. Before leaving he plays a tune for Norma and says he'll see her in his dreams. Once alone in the car, Shelly and Bobby steal a kiss before taking off. Shelly drinks a flask with Bobby as he drives her home. Bobby worries that Shelly's "old man" might be home. She assures him there is nothing to worry about, but when they pull up toward her house, Bobby sees her hubby's truck. He quickly stops and Shelly gets out.

Meanwhile Leland is escorted to the hospital with Harry to identity Laura's body. Upon seeing her he cries, "My baby! That's my little girl!"

At the high school, Donna laughs at Audrey when she smokes at her locker. James comes up behind her and says it's a nice day for a picnic. Nearby Bobby sees Mike in the hallway when he walks in. Mike warns him that the police are looking for him. In class, the teacher takes role call. A police officer walks in and tells her that Laura is dead. Donna and James instantly realize it's Laura. Donna starts crying, but Audrey smirks.

In the Library, Deputy Andy and Deputy Hawk question Bobby. Then Harry walks in and tells the principal to make an announcement to the school. Harry then tells Bobby that Laura is dead and proceeds to arrest him. Bobby gets defensive and swears that he and Laura loved each other. After the principal asks for a moment of silence before weeping like a baby. Meanwhile Donna cries hysterically and James looks confused.

Back at the Palmer house, Doc Hayward and a nurse administer a sedative to Sarah so Harry can question her. Once she's calm, Sarah is able to tell Harry what she remembers from the night before. She tells Sheriff Truman that she heard Laura's phone ring once. Meanwhile Leland and Deputy Hawk go through Laura's things in her bedroom. Hawk takes her diary and a video recorder. After Andy takes a call informing him that another local girl is missing as well, Ronette Pulaski.

"I have the final say so!"

At the Packard Saw Mill, Josie demands they shut the mill down for the day, despite Catherine's insistence they stay open. In anger, Catherine impulsively fires a random mill worker, while Josie makes the announcement that their co-worker Mr. Pulaski's daughter has gone missing. Meanwhile over by the town bridge, a battered Ronette Pulaski makes her way back into town.

James rides his Harley to Big Ed's Gas Farm and tells his uncle Ed that Laura's dead. He asks Ed to give Donna a message if he sees her. Nearby patch-eyed Nadine screams at Ed to put her drapes up by night fall.

"What kind of trees are these?"

Dale Cooper rides into Twin Peaks while talking to Diane on his tape recorder. He meticulously details his comings and goings, before wondering what kind of wonderful trees he's seeing on the drive. Later he meets up with Sheriff Truman at the hospital and quickly lets him know the FBI is in charge since Ronette stepped over the state line. Then he asks Harry what kind of trees they have in Twin Peaks. Harry tells him Douglas Fir. After they speak with Ronette's doctor who tells them that she was raped and could have neurological damage. Cooper asks to see her fingers, but doesn't find what he was looking for.

Dr. Jacoby seeks out Harry and Cooper at the hospital and asks if he can join them to view Laura's body. Cooper tells him no. Later when examining Laura's body, Cooper finds a tiny piece of paper under Laura's finger nail with the letter "R" typed on it. He quickly notes to "Diane" that he needs Albert's team.

Donna goes to see Big Ed at the Gas Farm. Ed gives her a note from James asking her to meet him at the Roadhouse later. Right then, Mike drives up and starts demanding that Donna get in the car with him. Ed tells him to get lost. Then Nadine again screams for Ed to put her drapes up. After Ed and Donna agree they picked bad romantic partners.

"He did not do it!"

At the station, Cooper and Truman review the contents of Laura Palmer's diary in the conference room. They find a safety deposit box key in a tiny plastic bag lined with cocaine. Harry is shocked to think of Laura using drugs. Then Bobby comes in to be questioned by Cooper. Cooper plays a video of Laura and Donna on a picnic together. He asks if Bobby shot the video, but Bobby says no. Cooper asks if he knew Laura was seeing someone else. Cooper says the first initial is "J" but texts to Harry that Bobby didn't do it. Meanwhile Andy calls Lucy to tell her that they found where the murder's happened. He can't help but cry thinking about how awful a scene it is. After Bobby tells Mike Laura was seeing a biker.

At the Great Northern, Audrey torments Julie the concierge by getting coffee all over her desk. Then Audrey slyly walks into the conference room and interrupts the Icelander's meeting. She stands there despondently and tells them her friend was violently murdered. It consequently causes them to leave and blows Ben's deal.

Back the station, Cooper questions Donna about her picnic video. Donna lies and says some random woman shot the video for them. After Lucy tells Cooper and Truman that Mike and Bobby are after a biker. However Cooper already knew it and zooms in on Laura's eye in the video which clearly shows a hog. Then we see James brooding on the mountain top while staring at a broken heart necklace.

'"Fire Walk With Me"

At the train car, Cooper and Harry investigate the murder scene. They find half a gold heart and a bloody note that reads Fire Walk With Me. Cooper says they need to find the other half of the heart.

At the Horne's residence, Audrey and Mrs. Horne watch as Johnny knocks his head into a wall over and over because Laura isn't coming to tutor him.

Cooper and Truman head to the bank to view the contents of Laura's safety deposit bank. They find $10 K and a copy of Flesh World. The magazine has a page marked with Ronette's picture on it and a picture of a big rig.

At the Johnson house, Leo demands to know why there are varying types of cigarettes in the ashtray. Shelly assures him there is nothing to worry about. Leo promptly orders her to keep the house clean and only smoke one brand from now on or he'll snap her neck like a twig. 

At the Diner, Norma calls Ed and they agree to meet later at the Roadhouse.

"Is this thing on?"

Cooper and Truman hold a town meeting. Truman points out some of the town's finest to Cooper in the audience. Then Major Milford starts the meeting, but quickly gets confused and asks if the microphone is on. Cooper quickly takes charge and explains to the town folk that he believes Laura's murder and Ronette's attack are the mark of a serial killer.

Doc Hayward explains to Mrs. Hayward at their house that Donna may have knowledge about who has the other half of Laura's heart necklace. Donna eavesdrops and then asks her sister, Harriet, to cover for her so she can sneak out. Meanwhile a drunken Mike and Bobby drive over to Donna's house looking for her. Mike rings the doorbell and asks Doc Hayward if he can speak with Donna. Doc goes looking for Donna and realizes she's not home. Then he asks Mike to help him find Donna. Mike immediately tells Bobby to drive him to the roadhouse.

"Stakeout"

Cooper and Truman stakeout The Roadhouse and learn that Donna is missing. Inside, Ed tells Norma he's been hanging drapes. Norma says she's going to leave Hank. Mike and Bobby arrive and quickly start some trouble. Cooper and Truman see Donna ride up on Harriet's bike. When Donna walks in Mike starts to manhandle her. Big Ed tries to intervene, but Bobby hits him and a bar room brawl breaks out. Joey Pulson ushers Donna out and says he'll take her to James on his bike. Cooper and Truman follow them, but lose them shortly after.

Joey brings Donna to meet James in the woods. The two share a discreet discussion about Laura. James tells her that Laura was into a lot of bad stuff. He says Laura told him that Bobby killed a guy. Then James tearfully shares his final moments with Laura. Donna tries to console him and they kiss. They instantly feel guilty, but give in and continue to kiss. Then they hear sirens and decide to bury James's half of Laura's necklace in the dirt for safe keeping.

Later Cooper and Truman catch up to Donna as James drives her home on his bike. They arrest James and send Donna home with her father. Andy and Hawk put James in a cell near Bobby and Mike, who were arrested for their Roadhouse brawl. Bobby can't wait to torment James and starts barking like a dog at him.

Later Sheriff shows Cooper the nightly spread of donuts that Lucy puts out for them. Cooper is delighted and asks where he can get a nice hotel with a reasonably priced room. Truman says he'll get him a good rate at the Great Northern. After the Sheriff goes to see Josie at the Packard's. They kiss and discuss the day as Catherine chats on the phone with Ben Horne.

Meanwhile at the Palmer's house, Sarah has a startling vision of a gloved hand taking James's buried necklace out of the dirt and screams for Leland.

This concludes the U.S. pilot.

On to the alternate ending:

Sarah Palmer dreams of seeing Bob in Laura's bedroom. She has Leland call Lucy in order to get a hold of Sheriff Truman. Leland does so and tells Lucy that Sarah believes she saw Laura's killer and wants to have someone make a sketch of the face she saw. Lucy calls the Sheriff to tell him. Meanwhile Dale is awoken by Mike, the one armed man, who tells him to come and see him at the hospital. After Lucy gets a hold of Cooper and tells him about Sarah Palmer's dream. Cooper tells Lucy to get the sketch and have Harry meet him at the hospital. Then Dale tells Diane that these events require strict attention.

The Sheriff and Cooper head to the hospital. Andy greets them at the entrance to the morgue and ironically tells them that one armed Mike is "unarmed" and waiting for them. Upon greeting Sheriff Truman and Cooper Mike says, "Through the darkness of futures past the magician longs to see. One chance out between two worlds; Fire walk with me!"

Then Mike tells them about his experiences with Bob. He explains that they lived above a convenience store and spend a lot of time killing together. Mike says they shared a tattoo "Fire walk with me" on their arms. However when Mike saw the face of god he was purified and decided to cut his arm off. After Mike correctly identifies Bob in the sketch Hawk drew and tells them that Bob is in the hospital basement right now.

Cooper and the Sheriff head to the basement and indeed find Bob. Bob admits to being the killer and says he was spelling Robert, his proper name, with the letters under the victims finger nails. Bob promises to kill again. Then one armed Mike comes out of nowhere and shoots Bob dead. After Mike mysteriously collapses and appears to die himself.

At very end, Cooper dreams it's 25 years later and he's meeting Laura Palmer and "The Arm" in the waiting/red room. The little man tells him that gum he likes is going to come back in style and doesn't his cousin look exactly like Laura Palmer. Dale asks if she is Laura Palmer. She answers that sometimes she feels like she knows her, but sometimes her arms bend back. After the little man starts dancing and Laura walks up to Dale. She kisses him and then whispers the name her of killer in Dale's ear.

End of show!

I only knew the UK version because I didn't see the full pilot when it originally aired in the US. I was young so it wasn't until I bought the UK pilot on VHS that I got to see the whole thing. Despite the fact that I like it better, the UK version also gives us our first real taste of Bob so there is a lot to love. However, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense so early in the series so maybe it's better to leave it out. Either way it's a must see for Twin Peaks fans. Which ending do you prefer?

----> Recap of Episode 1