Pinky's Dream: The Story of Crazy Clown Time

1. "Pinky's Dream"

The sun was setting in the west. It's orange glow, littered with golden and pink hues, bathed the sky in light that was so bright, so beautiful, and so otherworldly, that the only thought running through Pinky's mind was getting as close to it as possible. The curvy mountain roads were no match for her determination. The windows were down, filling her vehicle with warm, dusty air. Her pink hair blew around in a Medusa-like style, but she didn't care - vanity be damned - it didn't matter anymore.

Pinky kept her eyes focused on glimpses of the sunset. It eluded her around the mountain's twists and turns on her way up to an ideal vantage point. Her glare was so fixed it was impossible to keep her eyes from watering, but she refused to blink. It was ironic to her that despite all the sadness she'd felt in her life, she had no desire to cry in what she knew would be her final moments. In fact, it made her laugh. Pinky laughed as tears ran down her face.

As she neared the top, Pinky felt her stomach. The warm goo of her oozing stab wound soaked her fingers. She glanced down - her blood looked purple in the dimming daylight. Pinky pressed harder on the gas pedal as mental flashes of her life flickered through her mind. She landed on the recollection of her lover's face. The image made her feel blinded by anguish. However, oncoming headlights, accompanied by the sound of a blaring car horn, jarred her from her daze. Pinky let out a horrific scream as she heard the awful sound of metal crashing into metal. Then instant terror took over when she felt incredible heat engulf her from the ensuing inferno.

Art by Mya McBriar

2. "Good Day Today"

Buddy flipped through the television channels while sipping his morning coffee. Listlessness colored his mood. Every station featured a variety of depressing news stories, bland talk shows, or overzealous weathermen. He decided to turn it off. Buddy bit into a piece of extra burnt and buttered toast when something shiny struck his peripheral view. He looked right toward his kitchen window and saw that his beautiful blonde neighbor had opened her car door sending a streak of sunlight his way.

He always enjoyed watching her head off to work in the morning. The sight of her always made him smile, but then her muscular husband ran outside, wearing only his boxer shorts, and kissed her goodbye. Instantly, Buddy felt a rush of envy and loneliness swept over him. He sucked in his gut and straightened his posture. He ran his hand over his head, lingered on his expanding baldness and sighed. He just wanted to have a good day. He wanted to feel good about himself, but that was always a personal challenge, especially lately.

He'd noticed the difference in himself several months ago. At first, it just seemed like a slight increase due to natural aging. Yet, in the last 6 months or so, it seemed overwhelmingly fast, like he couldn't get control back. What had remained of his hair vanished and the number on the scale kept creeping up. He hated the way he looked. He knew the rapid change was affecting his confidence and it was accompanied by intense feelings of shame and depression.

Buddy wanted happiness like his attractive neighbors. He wanted love and a fit body with a full head of flowing hair. He closed his eyes and wished for an angel to come his way. Everyday he saw the worst of humanity on the news and at work. His position as a Forensic Pathologist didn't exactly send women flocking his way either, unless they were dead. He couldn't help but think of the one from last night, which quickly turned his stomach. Buddy put down his toast as the memory of her body flashed in his mind. He'd never seen someone so charred up before. There was nothing left but a clump of pink hair.

3. "So Glad"

The house seemed renewed. There was a heavy weight that had been saturating the air for months, but now it felt lighter because Pinky was gone. He knew they had to end their tempestuous relationship for good. Their blow out yesterday was the final straw. He couldn't argue with her anymore, it was too toxic. He was ready to move on, to meet other women, and to be free. A part of him would miss her - nobody fucked like Pinky. However, when it came to unnecessary drama and crazy mischief, Pinky was in a league of her own, and he definitely wouldn't miss that.

He decided to wish her well. Living together was a mistake. He never should have asked her to move in, but in the beginning his passion for her blinded his thinking. Danny wanted to find peace, yet in his gut there was a nagging worry that he had not heard the last of her. He knew it would be out of character for her to go away quietly. He thought of their fight yesterday afternoon as he stared at the front door. Danny recalled her storming out of it in a fit of anger before she turned back to look at him. Her eyes looked so intense that it had frightened him. Then she'd screamed, "You'll never be free of me!"

"She's crazy," he thought. He knew she'd say differently though. She'd say men always call women crazy when they get too close to the truth, but her truth couldn't be real - that would be impossible. By Danny's estimation, Pinky had to be downright certifiable. She was always taking things to the extreme like she was bipolar or something, and he wasn't about to buy into fears of old about supernatural nonsense. He was glad she was gone; he knew it was for the best. Danny refused to let Pinky's rant ruin what could be newfound happiness for him, "but that shit she'd said about Suzy...fuck me!"


4. "Noah's Ark"

A few days earlier...

She laid on her bed with her eyes closed tightly. The sheets felt soft against her skin and offered a secure, comforting feeling that only the sanctity of her own bed could provide. She knew once she felt her body flutter on the borderline of slumber she'd be able to find a way back. The anticipation of seeing him again, of seeing him the way he used to be, weighted on her mind. Plus, Pinky didn't feel very tired. Certainly not enough to almost fall asleep, but she knew the only way through was on that thin line between being awake and asleep.

It was a dark night. Sage was burning on her dresser. The scent warmed the air with a clean freshness that soothed her. Sensory techniques always helped. It was important to create the right atmosphere. Pinky had followed her family's method to the letter. She remembered her mother explaining that in order to relive moments in the past, she'd have to access her memories and dive into them like a dream. Pinky waited until she was alone on the night of a full moon. She drank the potion, held onto a picture of him, and tried to focus on the first time she remembered seeing Danny.

She was pretty sure that her motivations were selfish and self destructive, but she had to look back. Pinky had to remember him correctly. Then, if she chose to come clean to Danny about who she really is and who she used to be to him, at least she might be able to finally break free of him. That had to be worth something. She hoped it was at least worth using her gifts for self awareness. And if advancement in the matters of love also worked in her favor, then so be it.

It began to rain outside. Pinky heard the heavy drops slapping on her bedroom window. She used the sound to tune out all other distractions. Pinky took three slow, deep breaths. The act forced her mind to quiet. She took another slow breath and felt her body relax on a deeper level. Consciousness faded away, giving rise to her body jerking impulsively. It startled Pinky enough for her to wake just slightly, but she took another deep breath and settled back down. Then the darkness truly swept over her. She had a fleeting, dreamy thought of Danny. She saw a blurry image of him at the football game, wearing his uniform and running around the field. He was waving at the roaring crowd as they championed him on. That was when she first fell in love.

Photo from My Central Jersey

5. "Football Game"

Buddy stared at the burnt corpse that lay in front of him in the morgue. It was a disgusting sight - a disquieting sight. It wasn't just the unpleasantness of a violent death, there was something else about this dead woman that bothered him. There was something eerily familiar about her. So much so that the idea of cutting her open for an autopsy seemed wrong, like it shouldn't be him doing the work. However, she needed to be identified. She probably had a family that was looking for her and fearing the worst. At least he wouldn't have to make that phone call - that was up to the police. Buddy just needed to clear his head and get to work.

He started at the most obvious place to him, which was the tuft of pink hair that was left mostly intact, outside of soot caked on the perimeter. With a rubber gloved hand, Buddy reached forward and gave the hair a light tug. It pulled away from her charred skin with surprising ease. Buddy studied the base of the hair follicles and noticed what he at first thought was skin, but upon closer examination appeared to be a netted material. Buddy realized it was a wig. He looked a bit closer and noticed a few blonde strands of hair matted to her burnt skull. This intrigued him, but the sight also triggered an unpleasant memory.

Buddy stepped back from the body and leaned against his desk. He got a weird feeling. He'd seen plenty of dead blonde women working in Los Angeles, but something about this body was different. He closed his eyes. He hated thinking of that night. He loathed when he couldn't stop himself from going there in his mind. "That fucking football game," he cringed. Thoughts of Suzy flooded his mind. He could clearly see her flowing blonde hair. He remembered how she would walk past him like he wasn't there with her eyes glued on that fucker, Danny. She never noticed him. She never knew how much he loved her and wanted her. A flash of that night echoed throughout his mind. Her sullen face and the humiliation in her expression still haunted him - he didn't want to remember.


6. "I Know"

Danny sipped his Bourbon slowly. His eyes scanned the room for any new women, but the bar was nearly empty. "Nothing but a bunch of old drunks." It was just as well. He needed to clear his head of Pinky. It was just like her to mess with his mind. That crazy stuff she'd said to him yesterday was hard to shake off, despite how much he wanted to. Her bizarre rant only proved to him how crazy she truly was, but the thing she had said about Suzy gave him some concern. Danny had a sinking feeling that was true.

He remembered Suzy from his senior year. He remembered that night after the game very well. It was a long time ago and he'd been extremely drunk, but a man doesn't forget a night like that. It was hard to remember her face clearly, but Danny recalled she was pretty. He knew how much she'd liked him too. Her crush was obvious and fed his ego, but he never felt the same way. The memory bothered him. He knew he could be an asshole, especially in his youth. That night with Suzy was a mistake; he knew that now. His reaction to her had been wrong.

He glanced at his own reflection in the mirror behind the bar. His dark hair and eyes still seemed the same to him as when he was a teenager, but he did look a bit more weathered and older. The passing of time was sometimes hard to accept. The sense of an end date, a time when he’d be no more always loomed. Every day he wondered if it would be his last - always waiting to wake up sick and die. That’s what Suzy did to him - she branded him with a pervasive sense of his own death.

He finished his drink and tapped the bar for another. The bartender gave him a second pour that Danny quickly gulped down. He tapped for a third pour, to which the bartender obliged. He wanted to catch a buzz quickly. He needed to take the edge off, because as much as he wanted to be free of Pinky, he couldn't stop thinking about what she'd told him. As the day had gone on, Danny felt like he was more and more drawn to the memory of Suzy. "Jesus Pinky, why did you have to mind fuck me so damn hard?"

Danny heard the sound of a quarter rolling down the jukebox in the corner of the room behind him. At the same time, he felt a slight chill in the air and the hairs on his arm instantly became a load of goosebumps. He turned around to look at the jukebox, but he didn't see anyone near it. Then a song started to play. Danny recognized it immediately as his stomach sank like a stone. It was Screamin' Jay Hawkins, "I Put a Spell on You."


7. "Strange and Unproductive Thinking"

15 Years Ago...

Suzy had a toothache. She'd been feeling the pain all day. She'd pleaded with her mother to make a dentist appointment for her, but it was only after Suzy agreed to try her mother's approach first, that her mother actually made the appointment for her. She'd assured Suzy that she wouldn't need the dentist and they'd just end up canceling, but Suzy felt better knowing the appointment was made. She had heard for years about what it means if you get a toothache on the eve of your birthday. She wasn't particularly convinced those old wives' tales were true, but since it happened to be a full moon, she knew she would have to play nice with her mother.

She tried to mentally prepare herself for the "vision quest" her mother always talked about. It had been the topic of many family discussions. The importance of the experience had been thoroughly expressed for as long as Suzy could remember. At the same time she had been questioning her upbringing for months. Her mother told her that's when you need to have an expansion of consciousness the most - when you begin to question yourself and your faith. She said it can lead to strange and unproductive thoughts. Her mother explained that when you feel a pain in your tooth, it's the cosmos urging you toward spiritual enlightenment, personal growth, and in Suzy's particular case, discovering her powers.

It sounded kind of crazy to Suzy, and definitely something she tried to keep secret from her friends and the kids at school, but her mother wouldn't let up until she went through with it. She had asked to be left alone after her mother concocted the "special" tea and left Suzy detailed instructions on how to proceed. After drinking the tea and following the instructions, Suzy was now left waiting. She sat on her bed, cross-legged style, and stared out her bedroom window. In the distance, she could see the mountains. Their majestic beauty held her interest so she decided to focus on that.

As she sat there something odd started to happen. Suzy felt like she was going to fall asleep. Yet, her eyes were open and she wasn't tired. In the distance, out in the thick of the mountain's trees, Suzy saw a road starting to form in a spiral pattern going upward toward the top. The formation was slowly wrapping itself around and around until it faded out on the mountain's peak. The sun started to set in the distance behind the mountain and it lit the sky with the most beautiful light she'd ever seen. The imagery was peaceful and euphoric. Suzy felt like she was sinking into the vision before her like a dream, just as her mother told her. Then, at the base of the road, a car began to speed up the mountain.

Suzy watched as the vehicle looped up the mountain, seemingly going faster and faster with each curve. The calm state of being she had first felt started to turn into anxiety. She was worried about the driver. She wondered why they were being so reckless. Her anxiety heightened into full on panic when she noticed another vehicle coming down the mountain. It was headed directly for the speed roadster rocketing its way up the road. Before she even had time to think the worst, Suzy watched as the cars collided. It was followed by a horrible sound, and then, a wild explosion. Suzy knew they were all dead.

Photo by Mya McBriar

8. "The Night Bell with Lightning"

The evening had fully set in and colored the sky black. He'd spent the day alone with the pink wigged corpse while woefully ignoring his other duties. Quitting time had long since passed, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. It was hard to reconcile what he'd discovered about her. After the full autopsy was finished, Buddy locked her up in the freezer and took a deep breath. His findings were disturbing.

He'd always hated waxing nostalgic, mostly because he knew he spent too much time thinking about the past and it made him unhappy. He wanted his present to be where he truly lived, but today his job sent him roaring backward. Buddy felt stuck in the past. He also had an eerie feeling that it wasn't a coincidence he was the person assigned to this particular corpse.

He wondered who stabbed her and why was she driving to the top of the mountain in that condition. And there was one other thing - a marking on the inside of her ankle or what was left of her ankle. He'd only known what it was by coincidence. His useless love of horror movies came in handy when he first noticed it. It was a circle with two bisecting lines that created what is known as a Solar Cross or a Sun Cross.

After doing a bit of Internet research, Buddy learned that the symbol was used in connection to the four elements, directions or seasons, and was commonly associated with the element of fire. The element of fire was considered to be masculine and purifying. Sun worshiping was common in ancient cultures that depended on the sun for their survival. The Solar Cross was often used in rituals for solstice, but could also symbolize transformations, beginnings and endings.

Learning that sent a chill down his spine, especially after he'd been able to identify her from her teeth. It left him with so many troubling questions. Then a sudden single bell sounded out in the distance breaking the silence of his thoughts. It was followed by a flash of lightning that startled him, causing his whole body to tense up with goosebumps. Buddy heard a click behind him so he turned and looked at the mortuary cooler.

He squinted his eyes to be sure he was seeing correctly. When his vision finally focused, Buddy saw that the latch on her freezer door had unlocked. He mustered all the courage he could, walked over to the freezer and locked it back up. Then he grabbed his jacket and keys and headed for the door. He turned off the lights, stepped outside and turned back to lock the door. Right then, Buddy heard the same clicking sound again coming from inside the morgue. Terrified, he decided not to investigate it and ran for the exit.


9. "Stone's Gone Up"

Danny came home in a panic. The creepy experience he had at the bar ruined his buzz and made getting out of there a priority. The walk from the bar to his front door only gave him more time to think about Suzy. Every thought made him feel increasingly more anxious. He’d tried so hard to put that night behind him - to leave it in the past, but he couldn't stop his memories from flooding into his mind's eye.

He remembered that night after the football game. She had finally walked over to him and struck up a conversation. He decided to invite her to take a walk in the hopes she might fool around with him. He led her to the park not far from school. They sat in a gazebo and watched the stars. He could sense she was nervous so he shared a joint with her. They talked about their lives and she laughed a lot. Danny remembered liking her - he also recalled kissing her. She seemed to like it until she pulled back with a funny look in her eye.

Suzy took him by the hands and asked if she could trust him with a secret. He nodded so she flatly said, "I can see the future." Danny recalled thinking at the time that she was just high, but Suzy insisted it was true. She said she had powers and that she could prove it to him, but he laughed it off. In response, Suzy told him to look at the full moon. Then she put her hands over his eyes and in an instant, he saw his whole life from his birth to his death. It came in hot white flashes.

Crying in his crib as an infant.

The day his father left.

Becoming a star athlete.

Meeting a girl he loved.

Having a kid.

Getting sick.

Dying young.

By the end of the vision, he was in tears. Suzy apologized and tried to console him, but it had no effect. Danny remembered feeling terrified of her. He shook his head to bring himself back to the present. He didn't want to remember the next part of the evening. He couldn't help it though, it was impossible not to. Danny remembered when he saw all of their faces emerging out of the darkness - Sally, Kimmy, Petey, Pauly and Buddy walking toward him and Suzy in the gazebo like a gang of misfits.

They wanted to party. Pauly said his parents were out of town and he'd gotten his hands on some, "real good shit." Kimmy invited Suzy to come along so Danny just sucked up the terrible experience he just had and they all went off to Pauly's house. He recalled all the drugs he took when he got there and remembered how Petey spiked all the girls' drinks. Everyone got messed up so quickly, and he remembered how that creep, Buddy, just lurked around all night staring at Suzy.

He walked into his bedroom to lay down. Pinky's picture was still on his dresser. Danny turned it down so he didn't have to look at it. Then he laid down on his bed and turned out the light. He hoped he could sleep away his disturbing memories and nauseousness. He tried to relax, but then heard a sound of something rustling on his dresser. He turned on the light and saw Pinky's picture was turned upright again. Her image seemed to glare back at him. Fear coursed through him - Danny was immediately swallowed whole by the sense he wasn't alone.

Photo from Pixy.org

10. "Crazy Clown Time"

3 Days Ago...

It was just like watching a movie. Pinky was somewhere between being asleep on her bed at home and being a voyeur in her own teenage subconscious. She saw Pauly's backyard. Sally was laying on the ground topless, clearly so drugged out she was nearly unconscious. Kimmy ripped her shirt off too, and then much to Pinky's surprise, she ripped her own top off as well. It was weird to have no control over her own body. 

She saw Buddy glaring at her. The sight of him made Pinky want to escape, but she knew she couldn't - she had to hold on and see the truth. She saw Danny pour beer over Sally and the sight of it made Buddy scream so loud he spit. Kimmy jumped around high as hell while everyone else was running around the backyard like wild animals. Pauly wore a red shirt and added a clown mask accessory to his face. Then he yelled, "It's crazy clown time!"

Petey set his hair on fire and started screaming. Thankfully, Pauly dumped a cup of water on his head to stop the fire. Then Pinky saw Danny grab her by the arm. He dragged her across the lawn and hovered over her. Then he spit on her and called her a "witch slut." Buddy came over and punched Danny in the face. The two of them started fighting and ended up rolling around on the grass trying to punch each other. 

Pauly ran over and tried to break up the fight between Danny and Buddy. Somehow in the mist of their three-way tussle, she got hit in the head with a beer bottle. The force of the strike instantly made her head bleed. Pinky remembered how the pain of it had angered her years ago. She watched herself react by taking the bottle and whipping it at Danny. It struck him directly in the face and broke against his nose. The glass cut a deep gash in his cheek. Danny looked shocked. The boys all stopped fighting with each other and turned to stare at her. Then Danny yelled, "She's a witch! She's trying to kill me!"

Pinky heard herself say, "No, I don't want to hurt anybody!"

Danny lunged at her, picked her up from her underarms, and tossed her against the side of Pauly's house. Pinky saw the hatred in his eyes and she remembered how that broke her heart years ago.

"I don't like you!" he yelled, "In fact, I fucking hate you! You're a scary freak and I never want you to come near me again!"

Then Danny grabbed her shirt, put it in her hand, and ordered her to leave the party. She recalled the humiliation and social rejection that she felt in that moment. Her Suzy-self started to cry as she put her shirt on. It was a slight relief when she noticed that all the girls were passed out on the ground and Petey was asleep on a lawn chair. It was just Danny, Buddy and Pauly staring at her.

Pauly said, "Leave her alone, Danny." then he looked at her and continued, "Suzy, you can stay."

Despite his kindness, she watched herself walk away. She remembered wanting to get out of there. Danny was the only person she wanted to be with and now the disgust he had toward her dripped off him in waves. As she walked down the driveway toward the street, Buddy ran up behind her. He said, "Let me walk you home." Pinky didn't want to remember anymore though. She forced herself to truly wake up. Her eyes opened. She was conscious on her own bed - the bed she now shared with Danny, a man that hated her, or at least he hated who she used to be.

Pinky tried to clear her head. She had wanted to remember how awful Danny was, how truly nasty he could be, because she knew her obsession with him had ruined her life. Somehow a pink wig and some clever trickery made him desire her as Pinky. Yet, deep inside, she knew he didn't love her, not really, and it had consumed the best years of her life. She'd blamed Danny for what Buddy did to her, but once she healed, she found herself wanting him again. Ever since, her life was a mess. She realized that she had to tell Danny the truth and finally make things right.

11. "These Are My Friends"

Buddy walked in his house feeling rattled. The experience at the morgue scared him in a way he hadn't been prepared for. Not to mention, the whole ride home he was consumed with thoughts of that night after the football game. He remembered how out of his mind he'd been - how he'd been unable to control himself. He'd spent years of his life wishing he could find her to say he was sorry, but now Suzy was dead.

He tried not to think of it. Buddy didn't want to remember, but deep inside he'd never been able to forget. It was always right below the surface, scratching at his subconscious. He wanted to be a good guy, but he knew his actions after Pauly's party had marked him as a permanent piece of shit. After his experience with Suzy's dead body, Buddy was left wondering if the cosmos was coming for him to dish out karmic payback. The idea was terrifying. He remembered how Danny had called her a witch years ago, and then he thought of the marking he'd found on her ankle. Buddy was starting to feel like he was trapped in an X-File.

He rarely drank anymore, but he did keep a little Scotch handy for special occasions. He grabbed a glass and poured. He saw her face in his mind - tear-stained with mascara running down her cheek. Buddy remembered walking her home that night. He recalled telling her about the single bed truck he bought for senior year. He had asked her to come on a date with him one day. He offered to take her on a picnic at the park with beer. He said they could BBQ and hang out as friends. Buddy remembered joking with Suzy about their friend Betty's bike with the little yellow basket on it. They laughed at how Betty used to store frogs in that basket, but regardless of their nice chat, Suzy didn't seem interested in going anywhere with him.

She kept talking about Danny. She even asked if Buddy thought Danny would forgive her one day, which angered him. He hadn't been a popular guy, but he was good at football, so most people left him alone. He never got any girls though, and when he fell for Suzy, it killed him a little every day to see her swoon over Danny. Buddy could clearly see now that he hadn't been in his right mind, that he should have just forgotten about Suzy and walked away. Instead, he'd foolishly declared his love for her right then and there.

Suzy didn't feel the same, and although she'd let him down gently, the rejection had enraged him. Buddy recalled grabbing her, throwing her over his shoulder and bringing her into the woods. It was like he'd been someone else; someone capable of doing great harm. After, he left her alone in the dark - his sweet Suzy, he left her on the ground - half-naked, ravaged and in shock. That night he'd given into his darkness. It had taken control of him and there was no way of going back - no way of ever truly feeling like a good person again.

Buddy ran into his bathroom and vomited. The memory was too much. He had really loved her, but he destroyed her anyway. Then Suzy just vanished. No one ever saw her again. Everyone assumed she ran away. Buddy started to cry and soon those cries turned into out right sobbing. The pain was so acute that Buddy had an overwhelming instinct to kill himself. As if spellbound, he stood up and walked into his kitchen. Buddy grabbed the biggest cutting knife in his drawer and put it to his throat. He was ready to slice himself open when his front door burst open followed by a cold wind. Buddy dropped the knife in horror as a shadowy figure stepped into his doorway. He strained to see who it was. Then the figure walked into the light. He squinted to get a clear view as recognition set in. "Danny," Buddy asked in shock, "is that you?"

"Hey, asshole! I think we have a serious problem."


12. "Speed Roadster"

As Danny stood in Buddy's doorway, looking at someone he hadn't seen in years, someone whom he never liked, he couldn't stop himself from laughing at the irony. He never wanted to be friends with Buddy, and he never wanted to date Suzy. Now, he felt stuck with both of them. Ever since Suzy showed him that vision of his life years ago, Danny had done everything he could to change his fate. He quit football. He refused to fall in love and would never marry or have children. Pinky/Suzy fucked with his head, she stalked him, and now he feared she had cursed him.

"What are you doing here?"

Buddy's question forced Danny to focus. He took a good look at Buddy for the first time in years. He looked awful, plus it looked like he'd been crying or something. After what Pinky had told him about Buddy, Danny figured that she'd cursed Buddy too. That's what motivated him to look Buddy up online and come to his house tonight. Danny smirked, "It's been a long time, Buddy. Some really weird shit has been happening to me tonight and I think it's because of Suzy."

"What does that have to do with me?"

Danny smirked again, "I think you know, Buddy."

The two men just stared at each other for a painfully long time. Then Danny walked into the kitchen and sat at Buddy's kitchen table. He gestured for Buddy to join him, which he did. There was an uncomfortable tension between them, but Danny knew they needed to talk about Suzy. He glanced at Buddy's countertop and saw a knife. "Were you about to make some food or something?"

Buddy looked at the knife nervously, but he didn't answer.

He seemed distraught to Danny and despite his dislike for Buddy, Danny couldn't help but feel a little bad for the guy. Danny ended up telling Buddy how he met Pinky six months ago at a bar. "I thought she was pretty cute," he said, "so I bought her a few drinks and took her back to my place. She fucked the shit out of me and completely blew my mind."

"I don't need to know that."

"Yes, Buddy, you do, because I'm starting to think she put a spell on me."

Buddy looked interested, "A spell?"

Danny explained how he impulsively asked her to move in with him and about how in retrospect, he felt like he was compelled to. He said, "Then yesterday she tells me she has a secret to tell me and claims she's really Suzy. At first, I didn't believe her, but once she told me it was like I could suddenly see her clearly, like I could finally see her true face."

Buddy's eyes were wide. Danny didn't know if it was disbelief or shock or something else. He decided to tell Buddy about the vision Suzy showed him when they were teenagers. Danny revealed how he'd been afraid of her because of it. "Looking back, I handled it all so badly. I never wanted to believe in stuff like that. I also didn't want to die."

Buddy asked, "Did she say where she's been all these years?"

Danny raised his eyebrow knowingly. "Suzy told me about what you did to her. She said she couldn't face coming back to school so she went to live with relatives and started a new life as Pinky."

Buddy hung his head and started to cry.

Danny could see he was breaking down. He probed with curiosity, "What happened to you tonight, Buddy?"

In response, Buddy blubbered, "Suzy's dead!"

Danny's stomach dropped in a free fall. Buddy told him about the car accident she was in, her burning to death, and ending up in his morgue. He talked about a Sun Cross marking on her ankle and a mortuary cooler door unlocking on its own. Danny could see how upset it had made him. A part of Danny was sad Pinky was dead, but after the strange incident he had at the bar with the jukebox, and then again at home with Pinky's picture, Danny feared something really bad was happening.

"What are we going to do?" Buddy cried.

Danny put his hand on Buddy's shoulder. "I don't know. How do you stop a goddamn hex?"

Photo from Ancient Symbols

13. "Movin' On"

Yesterday...

Pinky left Danny's house feeling enraged and distraught. She drove out to the scenic overlook on the highway, sat on the hood of her car and stared at the ocean. The sky was somewhat cloudy and cast a dull grayness that was equal to her mood. Pinky watched the waves crash against the rocks below. She listened carefully to the sound of the water - its heavy rush swooshed and sloshed in a hypnotic ebb and flow that helped to calm her.

She wasn't surprised that Danny had rejected her. She'd manipulated their entire relationship, and deep inside she knew there was no substance between them. Danny wasn't capable of substance with a woman and she realized it was because of the vision she had shown him all those years ago - she was certain it had changed him.

Pinky pulled her compact out of her pocket and looked at herself in the little round mirror. She was nothing like Suzy anymore. In fact, she felt worlds apart from who she used to be. Suzy was Pinky now - wild and free, but still those painful shades of her past still lingered in her eyes. The girl who was destroyed in the woods that night, despite her rebirth, never completely left. All the anger and the self hatred she had felt for years had manifested itself into a self-made trap.

The clouds started to part in the sky, which allowed the sun's rays to poke through. A light wind helped brush away the chunkiest clouds until the late afternoon sun was fully visible. Pinky gazed at the beauty of the sun and its light cascading over the ocean. It made her remember how her mother always told her that the sun had the power to reset. Her mother would say, "The sun restarts every day and every night."

Pinky thought about that for a long moment. She had an intuitive sense that she was thinking of her mother's words for a reason. A single tear rolled down her cheek as it all started to click in her mind - instinctively she knew what she needed to do. If everything worked properly, there was a chance she could start all over. It would be like hitting the reset button on the last six months of her life. She just needed to die in time for the sun to enter into the night and when the morning dawned, she would rise up and begin anew.

The thought gave her hope. If she had the chance, she'd allow herself to be free of Danny and Buddy - to leave them, and herself, at peace. She looked across the ocean at the mountains. Pinky knew the best view of the sunset was at the top. It would also be an ideal spot to complete the ritual. She then remembered her teenage vision of a car crash on a mountain. She always believed it was a vision of her death, but if she didn't risk it, Danny and Buddy would likely suffer horrific fates. 


14. "She Rise Up"

It was 3:43 am. The sun would rise in a few hours. Buddy and Danny stared at each other from across Buddy's kitchen table. There was an awkwardness in the air between them. The conversation they'd had about Suzy created some tension, and it had gone on for hours. A new day had begun as they discussed and researched online about witches and spells and things of a dark occult nature. It had unsettled them. While doing so, they'd been accompanied by a vicious lightning storm outside that caused the power to flicker on and off all night. There was some fear that the storm was the product of Pinky's spells, but they hoped it was just a nasty coincidence from mother nature.

They had come up with a plan of sorts, but neither of them felt very good about it. Both Buddy and Danny agreed that they had no idea what they were doing, or if they were even on the right track. Since they didn't know exactly what Pinky had done, there was no way to counteract her actions. What they did come to accept was that from all the information they had gathered over the last few hours, it seemed that if the spells or curses Pinky cast didn't stop when she died, it would likely continue until they were dead, which didn't appeal to either of them.

Buddy had told Danny about the Solar Cross and its significance as a symbol of rebirth. They debated on who might have stabbed Pinky, ultimately concluding she likely stabbed herself, and wondered what she was doing on the mountain before she died. Danny speculated that she might have been trying to cast a spell at sunset, given the timing of her death. He knew there was a beautiful spot on the mountain that was a popular choice for those looking to get an ideal view of the sun setting over the ocean. He knew Pinky didn't have that marking on her ankle when he last saw her either.

They found a dubious website that offered a litany of sun spells. Most seemed like complete nonsense written by those who believed they had powers that they clearly didn't. However, Buddy had come upon one spell that had gotten his attention. It was a blood ritual that required a human sacrifice. If it worked, the sacrifice would be reborn at sunrise. When he showed it to Danny, they both agreed it was a possible fit, despite the outlandishness of the whole idea.

Danny had also been reading about fire and its symbolic significance. He feared Pinky burning to death might have accelerated whatever she’d put into motion. "I can't believe this," he expressed, "I've spent years of my life trying to avoid things like this."

An odd expression came over Buddy's face. "Well, we could just forget about all of this and go back to living our lives. We can't be certain any of this is true - we might just be letting our imaginations get the best of us."

Danny was prepared to disagree, but at that moment a violent lightning strike came down from the sky and burst through Buddy's living room ceiling. In an instant, debris was everywhere as if a bomb went off. Both men took cover under Buddy's kitchen table. Rain poured into Buddy's house from the gaping hole and destroyed all of his living room furniture. Buddy was in complete shock. Danny looked at him and sarcastically yelled, "Was that in our imaginations?"

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They raced through the city streets of Los Angeles while dodging falling tree branches, faulty street lights, and wild whipping winds. The lightning storm had only intensified since they left Buddy's house. The rain wouldn't let up either. It kept pounding Danny's car with continuous loud thuds. Buddy tried to brace himself by gripping the passenger door handle. Then he glanced over his shoulder and glared at the backseat in horror.

"Don't look at her, Buddy!"

"I can't help it!"

"Just focus on what we're about to do. We have to make it to the mountains before sunrise!"

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Danny drove as far up the mountain as he could, getting as close to the top as possible before a number of downed trees blocked the rest of the route. He parked the car and turned off the engine. Then he turned toward Buddy and said, "We'll have to carry her and walk the rest of the way."

Buddy's eyes widened, "Are you kidding me?"

Danny didn't say anything in response. He didn't think they would live to see another sunrise if they waited. He looked at his watch, it was 6:21 am. They'd be lucky to get to the top in time for sunrise at this point. He didn't feel good about being outside surrounded by trees in a lightning storm either, but he knew they were close. If they hurried, there was still a chance. He got out of the car and reached into the backseat for Pinky's body. Even though she was inside a body bag, it still felt awful to touch her. Thankfully, she was light.

Buddy sadly noted, "Not much was left of her after the fire."

Danny shut his eyes tight in disgust, but just for a second - they had to get going. "Come on," he ordered, "let's go!"

They began to trudge through the woods in the darkness, using only the light from Buddy's cell phone flashlight to guide their way. The rain beat down on them with force and instantly drenched their clothes and shoes. They'd narrowly missed several falling branches and tripped over uprooted plant life that had been tossed about in the gusty winds. Both Danny and Buddy's stress levels had reached their maximum, but Danny could feel in his gut they were almost there.

"You think all of this is because of Suzy?" Buddy asked, yelling over the loudness of the storm.

"Given that I'm carrying her dead body to the top of a mountain in a fucking lightening storm, I'd say yeah, Buddy - I do think she did all of this!"

Buddy just looked somber and kept walking after that. Danny didn't have time to comfort him; he didn't even like him. He knew what Buddy did to Suzy and he figured it had fueled her anger, probably even more than his rejection of her had. Right then, a tree branch snapped from somewhere above him and dropped directly on top of Danny's right foot. It sent a shooting pain from his toes to his ankle. Danny groaned, "Fuck me, that hurt!"

Buddy sneered, "Another gift from Suzy."

Danny wanted to punch him in the face, but there was no time. He looked up and saw a hint of morning light to the east through the trees ahead. "We're close, let's move!"

They raced to the top as fast as they could in the storm and finally, after a few minutes, they made it. As they cleared all the trees to the rounded mountain top, they saw more light on the horizon, despite the dark clouds above them. Danny looked at his watch again, 6:37 am - they only had a few minutes at best. He placed Pinky's body down on the ground as the rain poured on them. Danny pulled out the spell he'd printed at Buddy's house from his jacket pocket. Danny looked at Buddy with concern. He wasn't sure if this would work, but the rain was quickly saturating the paper to the point of almost not being able to read it, so Danny read out loud as quickly as possible.

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Buddy listened to Danny read the rebirth spell they'd found on the internet and it occurred to him how ridiculous it was. They didn't know for sure what Suzy had done to them; he didn't even know if it was real or not. All Buddy really knew was that he'd stepped in some kind of crazy nightmare. He thought of the last six months of his life and how depressed he'd been feeling. He had been feeling less and less attractive, but at the same time more and more desperate to meet someone. More than ever before in his life, Buddy had thought of suicide, and it had terrified him "Were all those thoughts a curse from, Suzy?"

He looked at her body bag and had a mental flash of her charred body during the autopsy. Buddy felt a rush of anguish and despair. It suddenly clicked in his mind what he had done to her. Inside, he knew there was only one way to fix this, "It won't work!" he yelled.

"What do you mean?" Danny asked.

"Without a sacrifice, it won't work!"

"She's the sacrifice, remember? The idea was to finish this and set her free!"

Buddy started to cry. "No, to make this work now, another sacrifice needs to be made. Don't you see that? It has to be me!"

"No, Buddy! That's just the curse talking. Once we finish this, we'll all be free!"

Buddy knew that wasn't true. In this moment he was full of regret. It was so intense that he didn't even want to live anymore - he never wanted to feel this way again. Buddy understood, painfully, but clearly, that he needed to die. "I'm so sorry, Suzy," he cried. "I always wanted to find you and tell you how sorry I was! I'm ready to die - take me!" Buddy opened his arms wide and looked toward the sky. Rain aggressively pelted his face forcing him to close his eyes. Buddy heard a loud crack in the sky and a split second later he was being fried alive by a lightning strike.

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Danny watched in horror, but he couldn't move. All he could do was just watch as Buddy's body burned and twitched from the lightning. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, it stopped. Buddy's body fell to the ground like a domino, smoking and lifeless. Danny ran over and tried to see if he had a pulse, but Buddy's skin was too hot to touch, and the sight of him was repulsive. He stood up and turned to look at Pinky's body, but it was gone. Right then, the rain stopped and the sun started to rise. The sky began to fill up with light that was so bright it was nearly blinding.

Danny squinted his eyes and foolishly looked toward the sun. In the distance, nestled in the billowing rays of glaring sunlight, he saw her. She appeared to be floating in the air. He couldn't clearly make out her features, but Danny knew with every fiber of his being that it was Pinky. All at once he realized the scope of what had happened to her and it humbled him. She looked ethereal as she glowed in the light. It was so bright he had to close his eyes. He sighed, "I know all you wanted was my love. I'm sorry I couldn't give that to you. I hope you can find peace now."

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Abruptly, he was somewhere else. Danny opened his eyes and instantly realized he was behind the wheel of his car. He was driving down the mountain alone. The storm was over and the road was clear. The light had dimmed too. It had more of a late afternoon feel to it. Danny didn't understand what happened to him, he just gripped the wheel and tried to slow down. He came around a corner faster than he wanted to and saw oncoming headlights. All he could do was yell out and slam on the brakes. It was too late though and the cars crashed head on.

The airbag went off and slammed him in the face. It hurt like hell and made him dizzy. However, the smell of smoke helped him focus. Danny swatted at the airbag until he brushed it aside. He realized the steering wheel was nearly pushed into his chest, as the front of the car had crumpled inward like a can. He tried to move his legs, but they were pinned. He panicked. Then a burst of fire caught his attention. Danny looked up and saw the car that had hit him was in flames. Then he caught a glimpse of the driver through his cracked windshield. It was only a millisecond before recognition set in and he was flooded with horror and confusion. She looked back at him in terror. Danny gasped as both cars erupted in flames, "Pinky!"


Epilogue - "Sparkle Lounge Blues"

She walked in the bar with a confident stride as her long blonde hair flowed behind her. She moved her body vivaciously as the form-fitting black cocktail dress she wore clung to every curve. She noted the sparkling blue awning and red carpeted walkway on her way in the door. It had almost made her feel like a movie star - that's if the place wasn't rundown, and hadn't lost its cool a decade or more ago. Either way, there was something hypnotic and old Hollywood about it. Once inside, the jukebox loudly played a rhythmic, bluesy tune that shrouded the entire place with a lowdown vibe. It was barely half full so she spotted him with ease. Danny sat at the bar with his eyes fixed on his Bourbon.

She decided the best approach was to be direct. If she were to truly change anything, she'd have to be honest with him. Time had restarted, erasing valuable context between them. Danny didn't have any idea what he'd done on that mountain top with Buddy, especially because for him it was six months in the future, but she still hoped there was a way to convince him to help her fix it. She walked up to him and tapped on the back of his shoulder. Danny turned around and instantly had a look of surprise. "Suzy?"

She nodded, "Yes, it's me."

She noticed him studying her carefully, but more with curiosity rather than fear, which was what she'd been expecting. He patted the bar stool next to him gesturing for her to sit with him, which she did.

"My god," he said, "how long has it been?"

"15 years, give or take."

Danny smiled coyly, "High school seems like another lifetime."

"Tell me about it."

"You look beautiful, Suzy. I'm happy to see you, but pardon my asking, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to talk to you."

He looked nervous, showing a tad of the fear she'd anticipated. "What for?"

She was about to answer him when he interrupted her.

"Wait! Before you say anything, I wanted to say something to you first."

She was intrigued.

Danny continued, "I've done a lot of soul searching over the years, and I often think of that night - you know, the night of the party. I was so scared by the vision you showed me. We were all so fucked up back then, and I acted like an asshole to you. When I never saw you again, I always wondered if you left town because of me. Maybe that's a big assumption on my part, but either way, I wanted to finally tell you that I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry, Suzy."

The End

Art by Mya McBriar

Author's Note:

Crazy Clown Time was released worldwide on November 7, 2011. After a few times of listening to the album straight-through, I had the idea that Crazy Clown Time was laid out like one of David Lynch's films, just done musically. I had a strong sense that it was a conceptual album with a deeper story behind it. Many times over the years since, I wanted to write an essay on why I felt this way and what I thought it all meant. However, I ultimately decided that wasn't the right approach. That's why I thought it would be more fun to create a story of my own in tribute to the album.

To me, Crazy Clown Time, is a story about someone who is struggling with their dark side. It includes elements of sexual jealousy and/or abuse, and I think the song Crazy Clown Time is really the center of the story. It seems to be a dreamy tale about a very wild night that leads to terrible trouble. There also seems to be many thoughts on transcendental meditation and the importance of evolving toward self-acceptance. Since music is very subjective and open to interpretation, there are many different ways to appreciate this album and meanings that can be drawn from it. This story was simply my way of expressing my impressions.

Watch below - The Making of Crazy Clown Time

Also Inspired by:

• Recursion by Blake Crouch - After reading this book, I couldn’t stop thinking about the passing of time and how it effects human longing.
• Slippin' Into Darkness by Norman Partridge - I first read this book as a teenager and fell in love with it. It's very dark, haunting, and deeply character driven. Its essence has remained with me for years.

Thank you very much for reading.